Why We Fail

Funny story. I had all intention to complete my 2019 Writing Project, Shiphrah’s Pearl. Even when I realized I hadn’t updated the story in months, I still set out to complete it. I went so far as to make a plan for the rest of the year to get parts 2, 3, and 4 out. But then, life seemed to hit me with a pile of bricks.

So now the question is: why, even though we try our best and hardest, can we not fulfill our plans?

Well, depending on who you are, I can be very simple to answer or very hard to answer. For example, in my life, I had been hit with a case of “I need to figure out a way to pay back all my debt in the shortest amount of time” syndrome. In all honesty, this is not a bad syndrome to have. But it does take up a lot of valuable riding time as well. If it was up to me, I would either be able to travel back in time and stop myself from making bad decisions with money and/or make my book Loading Life an instant best-seller. Alas, I don’t have either of these powers. If I did, I wouldn’t be writing this post.

But instead of getting sad or depressed or angry that I was not able to accomplish what I wanted in the past year, or in the past couple of years, I plan to remedy my inability to finish the plans I make. As of right now, though, I know little about what I need to do in order to accomplish this. And, from observing the world around me, I think a lot of people around my age have the same dilemma. (Of course, if I’m really honest, I think everyone has the still in that at least once in their lives.)

For me, I think I’m going to start at my roots. I believe in the Lord Yahweh, or as many know him as just God, wholeheartedly. And so I know one of the fundamental parts of believing in him is to focus on him and everything will fall into place in my life (Matthew 6:33). This doesn’t necessarily mean that I will have an easy life and everything will go perfectly fine. But it does mean I won’t freak out if something doesn’t go my way. I’ll be so focused on God that I won’t be worried about what happens. I know I can trust in him with anything and everything in my life. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to focus on learning more about him and what he promises by studying the Bible. Not just reading it, but truly studying and researching what it says and what it means. It seems like the best place to start.

The second step is to re-evaluate what I need to do to improve my life. That starts with getting rid of my debt. I wish it was super easy, but anything worth my freedom won’t be that way. And I think that is better than just getting out of my mess super easy. So while I’m substitute teaching, I have decided to do other ventures to make more money. Unlike last summer, I think I’ll have to get a summer job of some sort or even a second job. It’s not something I would like, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. I’ve also started to create an Etsy store to help me make more revenue with my quirky ideas. I even thought of creating a second one. The first one that is already made is geared towards people who love anime, cosplay, Lolita, etc. The second one might be geared towards people who love writing and all things books.

Next, I have to figure out what to do with not just my books, but this website, my YouTube channel, and anything else I need to do. I’ve already started practicing on creating, editing, and posting a new video every two weeks on my YouTube channel. Writing this blog is the start of updating what I do here on this website. I haven’t figured out exactly what I want to do with it, but I do have some past short story works that I think you all would enjoy. And then there are my books.

I am in the process of creating a seven or eight book series called the Nectere series. Last year I published the first book as an e-book on Amazon. However, if you go to my Amazon author page, you’ll realize it is not available anymore. I stupidly rushed through the process of creating it in order to get it out “on time”. I realized my blender afterward when I was trying to start on the second book. So in order to give you all quality work, I took down the appalling draft and I am working on a better quality piece of work. (It’s times like these that I thank God I am not a well-known author yet.) I plan on having it out sometime during June. But I am willing to push that date back if I need to do so. I want to give you all a work that you will love and not just like.

So in the end, I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to get done last year or the year before. But I think I am finally at the point where I’m tired of being controlled by a whim. I’m tired of being tired. And I’m tired of not getting anything done. So I’m going to work my hardest to plan out what I can handle and get it done for real. I don’t want to just sit back and watch life roll by and then complain that I didn’t get anything done. And I hope, if you are getting stuck as I have been, you’ll get tired of being tired as well.

Thank you for sticking around! I can’t wait to show you what I have been working on and finally show some results we can all be happy about.


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